Ok so I know I’m not alone, because I’ve spoken to at least two people about this (it’s probably more – I can’t remember). But I have got so bad at replying to social text messages/emails/direct messages on Facebook or insta! Gah, just writing down the list of the way people can message me is making me feel a little bit stressed – time for some deep breathing…right fine now.
Anyway – I’ve never been the best at replying immediately to friends but since having kids I feel I can safely say, I’m one of the worst.
I feel like part of it is because I’m on my phone a lot for work – replying to enquiries, doing social media posts, running my client Facebook groups – and I don’t want to be on my phone, or for my kids to see me on my phone all of the time. But I’m not that virtuous, that’s not the real reason.
Sometimes, sometimes I do honestly just forget – if I don’t do it straight away, like actually do it – sometimes I reply in my head and then wonder why they haven’t got the message?
But the real reason is often I feel like I can’t be bothered to converse over text! That sounds so awful, but unless it’s important or about something happening tomorrow that I need to plan, then replying just becomes another thing to do. It’s goes on one of my many lists.
And when you’ve been playing numerous rounds of ‘I spy’ with your four-year old, or answering taxing questions like – ‘why do we all have to get old?’ or ‘why is the bad dog in A Close Shave bad?’ all day, and your 16-month old has been shoving your legs and grunting/making oooh ooh noises in a moany tone to get you to pick him up, then replying to another request/question, however nice that question is, just feels like too much effort!
And I know it’s not just me – one of my super-fun mum friends and I have epic message conversations. And I mean epic, in the sense of being slow and taking a long time not in an epic interesting way. It goes like this she texts me – two weeks later I text her – two weeks later she texts me and so on, sometimes I feel like we’re just sending each other the same messages!
Recently one of my lovely friends and her two kids game to visit and before they left I got the calendar and we sat down and planned the next meet up together – the old fashioned way! Because, and we both agreed that if we did this by text it could take ages to arrange.
One of my most special friends lives across the Atlantic and we both have two kids, plus there’s the time difference, so we don’t manage to message often.
I recently felt really sad about this, so sad that I messaged her to apologise. I even wrote a long message, before my 16-month old grabbed my phone with a look of pure glee on his face and ran off with it – so that long message was never read. My friend got the short version.
And you know what? It felt like a bit of a relief to say sorry – I’m shit at replying now, especially as she said she felt the same, but that if it counts she thinks of me all the time. It totally counts, as I think of her most days too. And here’s the thing – us mums may take a while to reply, or be inconsistent in our replies, but that doesn’t mean we’re thinking of you any less.
We have honest discussions about friendship and motherhood in my wonderful Mamas Relax classes along with loads of other topics. These super-relaxing classes include a guided relaxation, tips to boost your mood, a chance to chat to other mums, support and yummy snacks.