I’m now 15 weeks pregnant with baby number two and although many things are different the second-time round (mainly that I was more sick and tired during the first 12 weeks) certain feelings, conversations and comments are cropping up all over again…
How many of the below have you experienced?
Pregnant women feel:
Like you’re not getting enough sympathy
Please stop telling me I look so well. I want to barf and sleep – at the same time if at all possible. Yes I know I’ve plumped up in a good way, my hair’s shiny and my skin looks good but I feel sick and tired. And no husband, I’m not pretending/milking it, so that you have to do the washing up and put our toddler to bed again, I promise….
Like your bump is too small/big/high/low (delete as appropriate)
Why oh why do people (mainly other women! Where’s the sisterhood?) feel like it’s appropriate or helpful to comment on the size of your bump?
With my first pregnancy I was repeatedly told my bump was too small, some would even ask if everything was ok. Was my baby feeding enough – cue concerned face.
As a first time mum – this made me nervous, angry or nervous and angry. But as someone who’s always been small (I prefer petite) it sort of made sense that I’d have a small bump.
This time I’ve been told that my bump is so big – I even had one family member ask if there were twins in there!!
I think it’s sad that nearly all pregnant women feel that their bump is not the ‘right’ size or shape.
Love your bump instead of comparing it to others. Easier said than done I know, but it’s your bump and no-one else’s.
Like a squirrel/dormouse (you can choose your own rodent here)
So I have a stash of nuts, mini cheddars and breadsticks by my bed, which I nibble when I wake during the night feeling starving. When this happens, I know that if I don’t eat something I’ll start to feel sick. My husband has woken many times to hear me eating, and at first he was concerned that there were rodents in our house.
Like you’re public property
I relished the time before my bump appeared in both pregnancies, but probably even more this time. (Perhaps because it surprised me by saying ‘hello!’ and popping out at around 8 weeks).
I love when your pregnancy is a special little secret that only a few people know. And although I’m enjoying being able to go out for meals and not worrying about that bloated-belly look, I’ve remembered just how many people like to ask you about your pregnancy and birth plans, which would be fine, but then they share their opinions.
First time round we found out the sex of our baby. We decided that we wanted to do this early on and when we told people we were planning to do so they’d often say:
‘No! (look of horror on their face) You can’t do that’.
‘..erm yes actually, anyone can at 20 weeks’.
Then, when we mentioned that we were having a home birth for our first baby we received so much negativity, well I wrote a whole blog post on that one: Birth: Let’s lose the fear
And don’t even get me started on names! How many of you have told people potential names only for them to say helpful things like ‘that’s the name of my parent’s dog’. We’re definitely keeping the names to ourselves this time, in the hope people can’t say anything rude once you’ve actually named the baby (I’ll let you know how that works out).
Like you’re Superwoman, Wonder Woman, or both
You’re growing a person. You have two heartbeats and two souls in your body. You’re body is growing, feeding and nurturing your baby, or babies without you even thinking about it. You’re growing a baby whilst working, whilst looking after your children, whilst sleeping. Wow!
What else would you add to this list?